The Catch Up Game: The Response Letter

Oh, wordpress; it’s been a minute. Since I left you, I successfully finished my second-to-last semester of undergraduate, ventured to Chicago, spent a week in Louisville and returned to my finals disaster area of an apartment. Oh yeah, and I got a letter back from my parents. Now you’re interested 🙂

I posted my “i’m your son” letter on here awhile back and it was just two weeks ago that I got a letter back. I will not include the full text as the letter is at my house (where I am not) and it is mostly inconsequential. Highlights were burned into my memory and they will more than suffice.

“Let’s start with we love you very much!” scrawled my mother across a piece of folded computer paper. She went on to say that they had drafted many responses to my “very real letter” about my “gender problems” but were just now able to say that they are “very sad” and wonder how I could “honestly expect them to ever accept this?” I expected that. She continued. They’ve known me for one way for 22 years (in the womb? I’m not quite 22) but also feel, as if to offer a rhetorical counter-argument, that 22 years-of-age is not enough to know my own reality. She then wrote that this ‘lifestyle’ may well work in academia but not in the real world. Ah, the real world. I’ve heard about it yet seem to always exist just outside of it! The letter closed with my mother saying her and my father were going on a cruise for the week of Christmas and we would talk more after they got back.

Wow. I took all this to mean that I was not welcome for Christmas and the usual projection of being the family secret. Apparently this was all a misunderstanding that landed me alone with Bill Maher and a gin and tonic on Christmas. They thought I was ‘busy’ because I mentioned going to Chicago after school let out. Well… okay.

I understand now that I am responsible for a lot of the hurt that is in my life. I want my parents to accept me even though I have not taught them how. I still feel hurt over this, even if it was mostly my fault. What next? They want to see me the first week of January but I didn’t ask off work and certainly need the money. I have mostly questions and few answers. I will start by writing them a letter back apologizing for our misunderstanding and addressing their questions. Yes, I do expect to be accepted. Here’s why. Here’s how. The only reason I came out to them to start with was to forge an honest relationship. I need to figure out what to say and start talking. Thoughts?

 

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