Transition record: Two Weeks of Raw Hormonal Energy

When I read the Testosterone Files I rolled my eyes at the author when he said starting hormones gave him the feeling of being alive for the first time. I would say something like that, I thought. Drama. Now, a year later, I feel like that needle I plunge into my thigh every week is actually a live wire hooking me into an extended circuit of the human experience that I have never imagined. I’m on fire. And my focus has gone to shit.

Yesterday I told someone that my thoughts are now only turned to feats of strength and sexual escapades. “All I want to do is climb mountains and fuck” I said. They asked if I planned on doing this at the same time? …Possibilities! I only want to know why I thought starting hormones my LAST semester of college was a great idea. Focusing is an up the hill struggle and I just want to… dance or run or something. I hear I will eventually acclimate to this… that “balance” is on the horizon. But probably not until May. Awesome.

In other news, I believe my voice is dropping. I was extremely sick the past four days which hormones may have had something to do with. I was already sick then as I was about to get over it I ‘inhaled’ and spent the next day coughing then the next four in bed. My tolerance for things that irritate me is also dropping. That might have nothing to do with T. It’s hard to tell what’s really happening with my voice, the only other noticable difference besides being electric. Brief home recording experiments have detected slight drops but these are probably only things I am excited about.

I won’t lie, I’m a little gun shy to over-share on every step of my transition. I was made to feel recently like every minor change is only important and life-shattering to the changed, and not their friends who are sick of the news updates. While hearing this from a dear friend deflated me some, I appreciate the perspective. I will take it in good faith that you, readers, are reading this blog for such information. I will stop writing about it when “I got another hair” starts to bore me.


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