Day 41-39: Dear Diary

I’ve spent a good portion the last several nights writing in my journal. This edition, a weathered leather bound volume given to me as a gift and holds only several pages of my deepest thoughts. But it sits faithfully by my bed in the tradition of many before it for my darkest and brightest hours. … Continue reading

Visions

In sorting through the thoughts in my head as my eyes close for the evening a vision of the future dances through my mind. You see, my beard is finally growing in in a predictable pattern and the thought of growing a full mountain man beard intoxicates me. In this thought I catch the flash … Continue reading

Dear [FORMER FNAME],

We’re just gonna say this as straightforward as we can – we’ll never think of you or call you anything other than [Former FNAME], [Former FNickname]! Your news about legally changing your name is heartbreaking! We don’t understand why you’re doing this but it deeply hurts just the same. Are you saying you don’t want … Continue reading

Name Twins Forever

When my parents picked my name two decades and some change ago, they did so by locating the nearest baby book and selecting number seven. Number seven followed me around through childhood where I met a lot of other children by the same name. I hated it. It was too long, too clunky, not right. … Continue reading

“To Testosterone!” And other shenanigans…

So much to update you on, loyal readers! I am now officially ineligible to compete on women’s sports teams. It feel so good 😀 Let’s start with a story. Last Friday, 4 February, I woke up with more enthusiasm than any day in recent memory. The caffeine in my morning cup of tea overwhelmed my … Continue reading

Go Tell It on the Mountain: T-minus One Week

I always felt like nothing. As a child, I dressed like children do. Played the games that children play. Did the things that children do. It was hardly because I was raised to be a ‘girl’. Now, with a week away until having my first appointment to start hormone therapy, I think back to those … Continue reading

One day they will make books of these letters (“they” of course being me :)

I wrote a response letter to my parents this week. I received their last letter in anger and frustration. Numerous re-tellings featured me painting them as vindictive and heartless. That was wrong, I now can see. I was hurting; it happens. Fortunately, I have insanely logical and patience people in my life that were willing … Continue reading